We Will Never Be Satisfied
by GreenOnion5000
Summary: Alexander broke two people's hearts on his wedding night: Angelica Schuyler and John Laurens. After the wedding, they run into each other in the gardens and comfort each other.


**Angelica and John Laurens both had their hearts broken by Alexander Hamilton. When I saw the video of 'Helpless,' I noticed that the two of them walked down the aisle together and that's where I got the idea for this.**

Angelica sat alone in her room, reading a book. She had retreated to her room when Alexander had come over to court her sister Eliza. It's not that she wasn't happy for the couple; after all, she was the one who had introduced them, but she knew that if she went out and faced Alexander, she would feel longing, regret, and temptation for the man who she wanted so badly, the only man she wanted, yet she couldn't have.

Suddenly, her door flew open and Eliza burst in without knocking.

"Angelica! Angelica!" she squealed, throwing herself onto her bed.

"What is it, Liza?" asked Angelica. "Did everything go okay with Alexander?"

"He proposed!" Eliza exclaimed, leaping up and dancing around the room. "Finally!"

Angelica's heart nearly stopped. _You stop this nonsense, Angelica,_ she told herself. _This is your sister's moment. Besides, you gave him up a long time ago._ Although she found it difficult, she put a huge smile on her face and gave her sister a hug. "Congratulations Eliza!" she gushed. "I'm so happy for you! You're going to be so beautiful walking down the aisle!"

"I know!" Eliza responded, practically glowing. "We've already planned it all out. We're getting married in this very mansion, in the ballroom, and were going to invite all of our friends and family and-" she had to stop and take a breath. "It's just all so exciting!"

Angelica was about to respond, but Eliza jumped in again. "Oh yeah! I forgot to ask you: will you be my maid of honor?"

"Of course I will be, Eliza," responded Angelica. "Oh, I'm so happy for you!"

"Thank you so much Angie!" Eliza squealed. "I have to go tell Peggy now!"

Eliza bolted out of the room, slamming the door behind her. Angelica sighed, falling back on her bed. She pressed her hands to her eyes. _Don't cry,_ she told herself fiercely. _You don't deserve to cry._

A few tears fell onto her cheeks and she angrily brushed them away. _It's your own fault. You're the one who gave him up… oh who are you kidding. You never could have had him anyway. Father promised me to John Church anyway. So sit up and be happy for your sister. At least she'll have a happy life._

Angelica sat up and took a few shaky breaths. She brushed the tears out of her eyes, smoothed her dress, and stood up. She opened the door and went looking for Eliza, determined to make sure she had the best wedding ever.

* * *

John Laurens pushed open the door to the tavern. He glanced around in the dim light, trying to find his friends. His ears perked up when he heard a shout.

"John, over here!"

He glanced up to find his friends Hercules Mulligan and the Marquis de Lafayette waving at him from a table all the way in the corner. He quickly made his way over. Lafayette handed him a mug of beer, which he accepted gratefully. "Where's Alexander?" he asked, trying not to sound too eager.

"Late as usual," Hercules said with a roll of his eyes. "Why?"

Laurens felt his cheeks turn red and prayed that it was too dark in the tavern for anyone to see. "Just wondering," he mumbled before taking a drink of his beer. His mind was already conjuring images of Alexander's stocky build, deep brown eyes, and gravelly voice.

"Ah, he's here now," Lafayette announced, pointing at the door.

Alexander flew into the tavern and headed straight for their table. His eyes were bright and he was beaming so much he almost lit up the tavern.

"She said yes! She said yes!" he screamed excitedly before hugging John as hard as he could and making his heart beat triple.

"Who said yes?" John asked while admiring Alexander's face. Even though they'd seen each other just last week, John had missed him dearly.

"Eliza did!" Alexander announced, jumping up and down. "I proposed to her and she said yes! We're getting married!"

Hercules and Lafayette immediately gasped, standing up and whacking Alexander so hard on the back he could barely keep his balance. He grabbed onto John for support, who was standing, frozen, shocked. He felt almost betrayed, although he had no reason to be.

"Laurens, you okay?" Hercules asked.

"Huh? Oh! Yeah I'm fine," he muttered, snapping to attention. "Congratulations, Alexander. Eliza's a lucky girl." He hoped he sounded sincere.

"This calls for another round of drinks!" Hercules shouted, waving the bartender over.

Ten minutes later, the men were discussing Alexander's wedding plans. Laurens had begrudgingly accepted to be Hamilton's best man. At least he wasn't the flower girl, he thought, pitying poor Hercules, who had been given the roll. At least he seemed excited about it. He downed his fourth beer as Alexander was saying, "And Lafayette, would you escort Peggy down the aisle?"

"Oui, of course I will!" exclaimed Lafayette excitedly.

Laurens excused himself to order another drink. When he came back to the table, holding a pint of Sam Adams and staggering slightly, Hercules asked, "John, you sure you're okay? That's like, your sixth drink and we've only been here for forty-five minutes.

"Y-yeah, I'm finnee…" John mumbled, the alcohol causing him to stumble slightly over his words.

Hercules rolled his eyes. "We should get out of here before John gets totally wasted."

Lafayette and Alexander muttered agreements and got up to leave. Hercules came around to where John was sitting and hauled him to his feet, grunting slightly with the effort. "I'll walk this guy home so he stays out of trouble," he announced. "I'll see you guys next week."

Lafayette and Alexander waved their goodbyes and exited the tavern. Hercules supported John, who couldn't keep his balance very well, and began leading him to the door. "Let's get you home," he grumbled. "I've never seen you drink so much before."

* * *

It was the day of the wedding and the Schuyler's ballroom was prepped and ready for the ceremony that would soon be taking place. Angelica was looking beautiful in the dress that Eliza had picked out for her. She wasn't looking forward to letting go of the man she loved forever, but had come to accept it. She was walking toward the ballroom to meet the person who would be escorting her down the aisle. Peggy had already met the man who would be escorting her, the Marquis de Lafayette, and couldn't be happier.

" _Did you see his hair, Angelica?"_ she had gushed to her several hours earlier. " _And his accent was the most beautiful sound I've ever heard…"_

Angelica sighed. It seemed like everyone but her was happy today. She hated herself for being unhappy on her sister's wedding and tried to push the feelings aside. _You've got your own wonderful husband who was promised to you from the beginning,_ she told herself. _He's rich and has excellent social status, just like Father wanted for me._

She walked slowly to the ballroom, where Eliza was. She stood next to a man whom Angelica recognized as one of Alexander's friends. What was his name? John something.

"This is John Laurens, Alexander's best man. He'll be escorting you down the aisle and announcing when you'll be making your toast."

Angelica extended her hand to John Laurens, who shook it gently, saying, "It's nice to meet you, Angelica."

"Likewise," she replied, staring into his eyes and trying to read him. He seemed very sad for some reason. He looked like he was losing someone he loved… Angelica immediately wondered if he, too was in love with Alexander. _If you are, I get it,_ thought Angelica sadly.

* * *

The wedding bells rang out, and John took a deep breath, looking at Angelica. "Ready?" he asked.

She took a deep breath. "Let's get this over with," she mumbled, grabbing his hand.

 _Wait, what did she just say? Get it over with?_ John glanced into Angelica's eyes and saw that she was trying to hold back tears as she led John onto the aisle. _I thought Angelica would be delighted to be here._

He had no time for further thought as they walked down the aisle, holding hands, followed by Lafayette and Peggy. When they reached the end, they split, each going to their respective sides. John, despite his miserable mood, had to crack a smile when Hercules came skipping down the aisle holding a basket of pink flower petals. But then Alexander came walking down the aisle, holding the hand of his beautiful bride.

Eliza Hamilton was looking beautiful in a form-fitting, long white dress with a veil over her head. And… Alexander, wearing a grey suit, his usually messy hair loose and shiny and smoothed back. He didn't even glance at John, eyes only for his beautiful bride. Tears sprang to John's eyes and he quickly blinked them away. _Be happy for your best friend._ And he stood tall, smiling and staying strong for his best friend, the man he could never have.

* * *

After the ceremony, it was time for the toast. Angelica had been practicing all week. John Laurens stood tall and shouted "Alright, alright! That's what I'm talking about! Now, everyone, give it up for the maid of honor… Angelica Schuyler!" His voice was wobbly and different than the usual tone John spoke in. Angelica felt that her voice may be the same. She swallowed thickly and began.

"A toast to the groom!" she announced, raising her glass to Alexander, who didn't even look at her.

"To the bride!" She raised her glass to Eliza as well, who also didn't look at her. _Does she remember who introduced you two in the first place?!_ Angelica thought angrily to herself before shoving the thought away and mentally cursing herself.

"From your sister, who's always by your side…" she put an arm around Peggy, who was standing next to her.

"To your union… and the hope that you provide…" Everyone around her echoed what she was saying. She was vaguely aware of John Laurens standing behind her. Only Peggy's presence was what gave her the courage to continue.

"May you always… be satisfied!" That did it. Alexander's head shot up and he looked at Angelica, apparently also having a flashback to when he'd heard that line of dialogue.

 _Her father, Philip Schuyler, was hosting a winter's ball, and it was the first year he'd allowed his three daughters to attend. Angelica assumed it was mostly out of sympathy for her as he'd just broken the news that she had been promised to someone she didn't know. She was still very upset and hoped the night of fun would cheer her up._

 _Entering the ballroom, her eyes immediately landed on a soldier she did not recognize. He leaned against the staircase, drink in one hand as his sharp eyes scanned the whole room. He rocked back and forth on his toes, as if he was restless just standing there doing nothing. He had a bit of a stubble on his face and looked hungry for knowledge. Forgetting all about her name and the man she was promised to, she strode up to him. She opened her mouth to say something, but he beat her to it._

" _You strike me as a woman who has never been satisfied."_

 _Shocked by how forward he was, she tossed her curls and said haughtily, "I'm sure you don't know what you mean. You forget yourself."_

" _You're like me. I'm never satisfied."_

" _Is that right?" she asked, extending her hand toward him._

" _I've never been satisfied."_

Angelica snapped back to reality, remembering that she had to finish her toast.

"To the groom! To the bride! From your sister, who's always by your side!" Her voice was getting louder and more upbeat.

"To your union! And the hope that you provide! May you always be satisfied…"

"Because _I_ never will," she added quietly.

An upbeat song started playing and everyone rushed onto the floor with their partners and started dancing. A huge table loaded with food and drinks was wheeled out. Everyone was having fun but Angelica.

Alexander, who was leading Eliza onto the dance floor, took one last look at Angelica, who was standing by herself at the edge of the room. Then all his attention was on his wife and he gave her a long kiss.

Angelica turned to leave the room. She wasn't upset with her sister. She was glad Eliza had found someone she loved so she wouldn't be lonely once Angelica moved to London. _At least I keep his eyes in my life…_ she thought to herself as she left the room. She would have to be satisfied with that.

* * *

John Laurens sat alone in the gardens of the Schuyler mansion. He knew he should be inside the ballroom since he was the best man, but he just needed some time alone. _Just a few minutes,_ he told himself. _Just a few minutes to accept that he'll never be mine, and then I can go inside and get drunk._

He heard soft footsteps and glanced up, praying it wasn't Alexander. It wasn't- it turned out to be Eliza's maid of honor… Angelica Schuyler.

"John Laurens?" she asked softly. "Why aren't you inside having fun? You are the best man, after all."

"And why aren't you inside having fun?" he responded. "You're the maid of honor."

Angelica let her shoulders rise and fall. "I don't really feel well right now."

"Me neither," admitted John.

Angelica took a seat next to him. "You can tell me what's wrong," Angelica said quietly. "I won't tell anyone."

"Um…"

 _Oh what the heck John. It's not like you have anything to lose._

"I liked Alexander myself… in a romantic way…" he mumbled, face turning bright red. "Okay, you can tell me how disgusting it is to like another guy…"

"I don't mind," Angelica replied. "It's the revolution. We're fighting for a whole new nation. New ideas are in the air. I don't care if some people want to court other of their own gender."

"Thank you Angelica."

"So that's all you were upset about? The fact that you like another man romantically?"

"No, it's that it's _Alexander Hamilton…_ and he's getting married… I mean, I know he never liked me back but I liked him and he was just so beautiful… his eyes, and his hair, and his body, and his personality, and… I don't know how to describe it he was just amazing and I know I couldn't marry him anyway because he's a man too, but it just hurts now that he loves someone else… he's probably not going to remember me now and he won't be around to hang out with me and Lafayette and Hercules because he'll always be with Eliza and I know it's not fair of me to be saying this I'm just really sad but… I'll be fine soon…"

After his rambling rant, he pulled his knees to his chest and buried his head in his arms. Angelica wrapped a comforting arm around him. _He pretty much summed up how I'm feeling right now._

After a few minutes, John looked up and said, "But what about you? Why are you upset?"

"Oh…" Angelica mumbled. "It's nothing."

"Come on, I told you why I was upset."

He did make a point. Angelica took a shaky breath. "It's… the same reason as yours. I met him at the ball my father hosted last winter. He drew me right in. But my sister loved him and I couldn't marry him anyway because I was promised to someone else. So I let her have him. Now they're happy and I'm going to London to marry a man I don't love."

Instead of rambling like John had, she simply summed up the situation in a few grave sentences.

"I guess we have something in common then," John muttered, putting his arm around her. "I'm glad I'm not alone."

They sat quietly outside for a few hours, hearing faint sounds of happy music and dancing from inside. They sat quietly, supporting each other, the only person in the world who knew what the other was going through.

* * *

The dancing had died down. Alexander's heart was aflutter with happiness. Each time he kissed Eliza, his stomach did somersaults. He was so lucky to have a wife like Eliza. He was determined to keep her happy for as long as he lived. He reluctantly glanced around for John Laurens, as Eliza glanced around for Angelica. Alexander wanted to spend one last night at the tavern with his friends and Eliza wanted to spend one last girls' night with her sisters before they moved away and started a new life together.

"I see Peggy, but not Angelica," Eliza whispered to Alexander. "Do you know where she might be?

"No… but do you know where John Laurens is? I can't find him anywhere."

They checked all around the room, but they weren't anywhere to be seen.

"Maybe they went to the garden to cool off," suggested Eliza.

The couple walked, hand in hand, to the gardens where Alexander was shocked to find them sitting together. They weren't talking, they just had their arms around each other and were sitting quietly.

For a moment, Alexander felt a bit of longing when he looked at the both of them. But when he felt the soft, gentle Eliza take his hand, it all vanished. "Hey, Laurens!" he called. "Why are you out here?"

He glanced up in surprise. "Just getting a breath of fresh air."

"Same here," said Angelica, removing her arm from John's shoulders and sitting up straight.

"Well, John, I've been looking for you. What do you say to one last night in the tavern with Hercules, Lafayette, and I?"

He sighed heavily and got up. His voice sounded pained when he spoke. "Sure Alexander. One last time."

"And Angelica," Eliza said in her soothing, melodious voice. "One last night with Peggy and I?"

Angelica nodded as she stood up slowly. She gave John a hug. "Write me a letter any time, okay?" she said.

"Same for you," responded John. He broke away from Angelica's embrace and walked away with Alexander, his heart breaking more every time Alexander glanced at him with those beautiful eyes, those eyes that may never stare into his again...

 **I hope you liked it. If you think there's a way it could be improved, please don't hesitate to message me!  
**


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